prom. for the last time.

so i went to prom last night with my best eleventh gradeee friend and a group of bitches who i graduated with/are friends with who are still in high school? i haven't slept yet.
The whole day was a rush. I made my dates corsage and it glistened with beauty. i spent like 45 minutes in a grocery store trying to find fettuccine and sparkling cider. (i bought coke.) we made dimmed-lit dinner and my mother annoyed us. it was cute.
prom was far away and fun and boring. a girl on prom court wore a suit and i loved, gargled, and swallowed it. she lost to the malibu barbie though. my best lessspian friend got arrested during school last year and couldn't attend her senior prom, so she came to this one. one lady gaga song was played. me and my best lessspian bitch caused a scene by falling all over each other to the rhythm of bad romance. i sneakily unbuttoned my shirt throughout our two person mosh pit so at the climax of the song it appeared i RIPPED my shirt open to reveal my undershirt with my best lessspian's friend mugshot on it. we're hardcore like that. people like, made a circle around us and watched and all we did was fall on each other! easy attention.
after prom at the high school was weird and even more fun and more boring. my date kept stalling all night so we'd stay long enough for the raffle. the cunt put 50+ tickets into the gps bucket and made us wait til 5am when the names were called to see if she'd win. she did. thank god. cuase if she hadn't? mmm...
i can hear my mom getting out of bed and starting her day upstairs. i should sleep.

This is another story about Anthony. And some other stuff.

i haven't blogged in a while. i've been off my boogie.
i'm working two jobs now and have been pretty busy! i saw bye bye birdie at .::~*NkU*~::. it was cute but i still don't like the show at all... i want to go to school so i can meet new friends. "do you have an all-access pass with us?" i think i'm like going to the lady fucking gaga concert. like, we'll discuss laterr. i took time to smell the lilacs and mindfucked the days away. it was great. oh! story:
Anthony swiftly rushed his nervous energy into the cold, stale air of the ancient bank as Paigene stormed to the first teller, shaking from intimidation. The couple were clear as to the plan of action and the room turned warm. The only evident proof of the magic is the receipt, sopped and distressed, reflecting the very aura of the sweating, cursed soul. Depositing enough money for cheap Lady Gaga tickets, the wicked two set up in a coffee house to be the first the have ticketry. After 19 seconds, the seats were gone and the two teenagers binged a bill, took what was left from the bank and headed to the mall. Days and dreams later, Anthony decides to close his very expensive bank account and put on his limited edition phantom of the opera style poker face to deal with the greased and obesed manager. An impossible overdraft fee of two dollars couldn't be argued quietly, so obeying rules of respect and reason, Anthony takes his time to stride and strut to his rusted car to pick out four rolls of sticky, coffee sopped pennies.

a perfect date involves sushi and dick.

I'm probably bipolar. And i know bipolar. so shut the fuck up.
I feel crazy. I'm angry, depressed, lonely, overwhelmed, tired, and free. i work tomorrow, then the day after that, twice. Why do i go a whole week without ANYTHING to do, then get three shifts in 24 hours? fucking bullshit. i realized that the people i think i'm most comfortable around, don't know me. I've made myself like things that i don't, and want things that i won't use. I'm concerned with so many aspects of being the perfect person because i don't want sour confrontation. If i just do the shit I want, i won't have to care if assholes say something about it because i'll be able to back it up. right? I NEED TO FOCUS ON ME. i need to move away and start over. I need to vent to someone. possibly a doctor, preferably a friend.

so i smoked a cigarette. and i'm still glooooooomy.
i need to do something. make something. bye.

i can do everything.

I went to restorative yoga monday evening. it was absolutely lovely, i might do it again. i was actually really frustrated doing it and needed a cigarette right quick. I think i spend too much time in my head and focused on my body outside of instructed meditation. putting aside my internal anger, the experience was very relaxing. it was raining when we left. our poor instructor drove her scooter to the studio! what a trendy bitch. anywho, rain rain rain fa deyz. cra cra lightning, WHITE OUT, hail, rain, car accident. every speck of tension immediately returned to my body as some old ass douche bag drove his 90's pedovan into the side of our car. We were all fine and chain smoked about it as we waited for the sexy cop and tow truck. I find myself walking through the projects of northern kentucky with my jordache carpet bag hoisted onto my back while i dodge puddles and bullets in my yogawear. We got back to the house and had a merry time.

I went to the park yesterday with my best boy friend and Jojo, a chihuahuahua dog. we ate sandwiches and layed on the benches then left and watched three movies. Autism the Musical is wonderful. The realest bitch I've ever seen talks about the depreciated value of an autistic life and its fucking crazy true:factual:raw and i love it. the movie was very enjoyable.

i drove my best boy friend to school across the riv' this morn. i don't mind doing it, but i don't have to. i'm nice.

I be shakin it for daddy he want more more more. Got that Bentley, got that Caddy, and they all four door.

I visited my father in the hospital today. He has some kind of infection in his throat and is on antibiotics through an IV. After the hospital visit I had plans to play in a park and was anxious to make it a fast visit. Sitting in the hospital room with my father and his wife, my dad takes a business call and is quickly distracted with work on his laptop. i send my "friend" the following text message:

"This is taking longer than expected. My dad's the kind of jackass who works from his hospital bed. I'm embarrassed. lol"

Well, I SENT IT TO MY DAD!!!! I accidentally sent the text to my dad. I was sweating! Thank Gaga the doctor came to interupt the phonecall! I stood up and grabbed his phone excusing my behavior with "I nEeD tO UsE yoUr PhoNE!!" i deleted the message but i feel as if my step mom might have a connected messaging thing, if that exists?! fuckkkkk. at least he didn't read it out loud to the room or address the matter. april fools? hehe...

As i left the hospital, this lady in the elevator loudly told me that i was gorgeous and that its rare to see people that are as beautiful as me. :D

I love herrrrrrrrr.

I'm not pregnant, I'm just thirsty.

My last post was from last night. I guess i fell asleep typing it. i'm not going to worry about capitalizing my "i"s. k?

I went into a fur store today. we walked into this tiny room with a man at a desk, and he asked "how may i help you?" and my friend said "we just wanna look at the furs." lol so he unlocked the chamber of furs for us to go into. its was beautiful. i hate to say it. the dyed fur was sad cause it looked trashy and fake and why kill an animal to make a real fur coat that looks like a fake one? there was this beautiful trench with this huge fur collar, that if popped, would tower 2 feet behind me! the man appeared out of nowhere to breath on us, "can i help you find something?" i replied, "I'm looking for a cloak. A long cloak, preferably black, either completely fur or just rimmed with it." haha. the man didn't say anything!! he just stood there. like, he looked around but remained totally silent. i made some small talk wih-my freeind and dismissed ourselves with stern departing dialog.

stupid.

At work yesterday, i greeted this fat old hoodrat who (ONE) ignored me. I was done with him. My manager made notion for me to talk to him so i asked him if he was looking for anything particular in a casual man to man kind of way. He belched. (TWO) He belched a nasty ass gargley ass loud ass vomit ass belch. Then walked away.

Like Swear to Gaga, rude. It was disgusting. and rude.

"it was rude, well, forget it."

Living Happily Ever

So this guy i know proposed to this girl i know on friday night. For operation proposal, we decorated a bandshell with rose petals and candles and set his guitar and a rose center stage. A cop went power hung' and threatened to arrest us if we didn't leave immediately. The boys gave him a chill pill and we quickly lit the candles for the scene. A shit tons of their schoolmates and friends came and hid in this park with us and the moment his videographer sister reported the princess said yes, we all cheered and screamed and ran down this hill like crazies to congratulate the surprised fiancé! wonderfully perfect! simply incredible.

honestly, i'm scared. i'm afraid i'll be stuck at home until my grandma's gone, and even then, i'll still feel terrible leaving my mom alone. i don't know what i'm doing about school. i'm completely proactive in the journey, but completely indecisive and poor. in fact, i don't think i can be happy until i stop obsessing over a certain someone. i can't think of how. i'll always wonder why i'm not -

i'll get lost going there.